the first person you ever hurt so much
you wonder if you should have
been allowed outside
ill repent to anyone willing to hear
i will find no punishment fair
i finally mastered compartmentalization
i buried a box somewhere so deep
filled with guilt that would probably kill me
i'm not angry now but i probably will be
and if i remember
i think it was December
the snow had quieted the city’s high
i still hear bells that weren’t there
still hear your voice in my ear
it all feels somehow out of time
im chasing a conclusion
made of fractals
and microscopic images
in and out of focus
somewhere in here lies the faultline
i find you in there sometimes
i'm sore and im tired
intimacy is sharp and bare
i could never love anyone like i love you
even though i see the things you did now
it's all revisionist history
left in the hands of friends and you and me
and nobody agrees
and if remember
we avoided shitty weather
but our friends were going out nearby
i still hear the nothingness
and the warmth when we returned to bed
I had hoped for better for you and I
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